LETTERS FROM US.

Hello,

It really is all falling apart now.
I know you’ll say everyone goes through these things and many times too, but this is the end. I can feel it
Or rather, I can’t.
I can’t feel anything.
I’m numb, I’m done.

I’ve stared at the Bible and nothing is forth coming. My heart can’t hold scriptures, my head cannot comprehend it.

It’s not making any sense and in case you’ve not noticed: Christianity is done and falling apart. It seems like we are only grasping on to slippery ends. It’s slipping off our fingers. We are only holding on to a faith that is going into extinction. That’s how I feel.

With tears I write this:
Do you know how it feels seeing yourself fall into doubts about your faith, the whole Christian faith and you can’t help it and you’re trying hard and nothing’s happening, which is what makes them damn correct! The atheists!

If God really is, where the hell is he!

Why can’t he come through now, I’m not asking him to come save me from sickness or help me in some material stuff, its my faith I’m talking about here! I’m asking him to come help me believe and he does nothing!
I’m wasted. Bye.

And Oh, some fly, bubbling Christians say it’s wrong of me to feel this way, then they tell a sermon about how God has saved me from sin and so depression is not meant for a Christian and then they add some inspiring words about ‘rising up to your feet’ and speaking in tongues an hour per day and they say with that I’ll be empowered and shake it off.

It’s sad, for how can they understand that this isn’t a mood, that the very faith is being shaken, that I doubt God.
So now, I just keep it all to myself.-Me.

DEAR ME,

Thank you for this letter.
Lol, I know right…
Death seems better in times like this.

To start with, I do not believe Scripture says Christians will not go through times of depression and doubts and falling, and deep falling
And loneliness and doubts.

In fact it seems to me that many times, scripture refers to these moments as the times you are expected to have.

There will be times of waiting. Its been scripted to be.
Times when you’ll WAIT for the Lord to show up. Check the psalms. (I can’t sermonize you, I’m not in good shape either)

It will be important that I say this at this point:
that in these times, though you can’t feel it,
it is because you have been chosen by God that you are able to wait.
CALM DOWN, you need to understand what I’m about to say…

God has predestined you to be his and therefore his eyes are on you and therefore, you will wait. This is not your doing, God is holding on to you.

Many times (more than I ever will be able to count), scripture refers to these times and it is in the conflict of doubts and great troubles that the image of the Lord is forged even harder on your heart.

Jesus had his moments like this too, like in the Gethsemane Garden. And in times like this, it is you holding on that keeps you, just like Jesus was able to say “Nevertheless, not my will but yours be done”. P.S. His pain was not reduced and his doubts were not eclipsed, but he held on to whom His father is; The God who loves the world and therefore chose to slay him(Jesus) and will not relent, the God who will raise him from the dead.

Allow me briefly talk about the issue of our faith fading out.

Yes, it is fading out,
in the hearts of those it is
and it is pleasantly surprisingly that Scriptures said it would. That the love of many will wax cold; that many will have a form of godliness (going to church and the likes) yet never have a deep running rooted faith but superficial things.
I thought you knew all these! It’s in scriptures!

But what surprises me the most is how people read this and their mouths don’t fall open like “woooow..hollup! Am I not fulfilling scriptures?”

Dear me, I remember once an old friend telling you that the phrase “the world has entered the church” is just funny cos the world has not entered anything (in Yoruba intonation)

The world is the world. The church is the church. (period)

So I hope you fight to stay alive. Day by day, making a decision to remain the church.

And if day by day is too long a time and the doubts come in much more often like mine, I hope you make that decision of every minute..

See you soon, in your next letter, tell me how you’re holding up, will you?
Love xoxo
Me.